 |
| Ready for my gator tour! |
We donned our mosquito spray and headed out the next morning to our scheduled Swamp Tour. We climbed into the boat and settled down for what was to be a fun adventure and took off. Our guide, “Captain Ted”, was the most long winded individual we’ve come across in a while. He had stories he told of his dead grandpa, his baby sister, his girlfriend, of his childhood growing up in the swamp, how chicken is the worst food you can ever eat, “Chicken eat their own poop.” Then he got off onto a tangent about how you need a threesome in order to mate alligators held in captivity. We looked around the boat at all the young children and their parents who were sitting with their mouths wide open, as these young kids were trying to decipher what Captain Ted had just said. He even went in to details about how he’s neighbors with Brad Pitt and with Captain Ted being the president of his homeowners association, went to welcome Brad and his family to the neighborhood only to get the door slammed in his face. He went on to say, they became good friends after Captain Ted told Brad he was a professional photographer and if the Paparazzi didn’t take a picture of Captain Ted, his girlfriend or any of his friends, Captain Ted wouldn’t take pictures of Brad and his family. Yeah right, Captain Ted. We never thought Captain Ted would stop talking and couldn’t wait to leave his clutches.
And according to the "Captain", Louisiana is the only location where cypress trees grow. When I inquired about the cypress trees growing in swamp areas along the Natchez Trace in Mississippi, he was quick to point out those are not cypress trees in Mississippi but some other type of tree. I didn't argue with him at the time but have since confirmed what I already knew. "Captain", those are bald cypress trees growing in Mississippi.
 |
| Cindy |
In between his stories, we did learn that alligators grow a foot a year for the first so many years and then something or another after that. Both Brian and I eventually tuned him out figuring he was full of nothing but hot air. Here’s a picture of Cindy. An 11 foot alligator who Captain Ted determined was about 60 years old. Did you know alligators like marshmallows and hot dogs?? Neither did we until our Swamp Tour with Captain Ted.
One could only imagine the beauty and serenity of the swamp if not for Captain Ted’s constant rambling.
We’ll miss you Captain Ted… NOT!
